Pageant: a reality check

Just like the Oscars, the Miss Universe can be unpredictable --- and also predicable in the choice of winners.  For any country whose occasional happiness and temperament are latched on either a demigod or a modern-day hero, any result of any competition – from a small-time barangay contest to one that is national in scale can be questionable.  And no amount of explanation or justification whatsoever will vanquish any misgiving on an unfavorable result.

Call it extremism, fundamentalism, obsession --- they’re all one and the same – fanaticism, a do or die.

If things written about the recent beauty pageant are not enough, here goes another mouthful. 

Yes, there is a pattern and a formula too.  And in between, spring surprises which by the way, are all part of the grand scheme or confluence of things we spectators will never fathom.  Leave them to the experts who are as confused and adamant as the hard-core, when their predictions wander from the actual results.

Pattern.  Latinas should be a staple; otherwise the ratings will dwindle. When all others are shut out, two or three Latinas should at least be in.  A dark horse or an Asian is usually a shoo-in but wait till a black beauty or a Latina makes it to the final cut.  Lest we forget, that the contest revolves around them and they are made for the contest.  The presence of an African or Russian or an Asian in between, renders a long drought for a country that usually figures prominently every year.  USA does mind if it fails to bag the crown; it will always take pride in having the most number of Ms. Universe titles. It is still a superpower no doubt.  And it will stay that way even if the universe is no more.  One can almost hear:  if you want the crown, devour it anyway you can.

There is no such thing as season for Asians or season for Europeans because there’s only one recurring season – and that is for Latinas.

Formula.  Make a buzz during the preliminaries.  Be noticed through your whims or antics to shine.  Even if (you) can express in English, have an interpreter during the question-and-answer portion to buy time in between translation.  A bright answer does not guarantee a win for anyone who is touted to be the most intelligent.  Japan who bagged the title a few years back was not exactly the brightest.  It is not discernment but a matter of taste and liking by the judges.  When everything else fails after months of preparation and retoke, blame it on the man behind the biggest pageant and its enterprise galore.  Venezuela makes a serious business of creating almost perfect beauties.  It delivers most of the time.

“I don’t believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” says a self-proclaimed pageant pundit.  “Beauty is in the eye of the few and that includes Donald Trump.”  After all, beauty is still business.

Suggestions.  Have one judge from each of the continents, one from the host country and a man-on-the-street. How’s that for a good mix.  Have only one question during the final five but varied questions for the chosen ten.  And if this is not enough, all of the candidates should be placed in a reality show to test one’s character and resiliency.  Longevity and popularity can be bases for the selection of the semi-finalists.

For a happy people like the Filipinos, only three things are said to be fascinating and highly anticipated: Pacquiao’s  boxing match (again with a Latino who disappoints in this category), Miss Universe and investigations on corruption.  The first two, which happen to be raved about, occur once year while the last one takes place all year round, which are not necessarily fashionable.

And as we put to rest any further debate, let us all be reminded that this is after all a beauty contest.  The Philippine must capitalize on its natural beauty whose mind should be sharpened and personality honed for the contest.  If the nerve-wracking Q and A hurdle is a major make or break, what still counts perhaps is ‘the essence of a woman’.

If the pattern and formula are wrong, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the choice is in your hands.

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